Drummer Jokes

1. Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They have a machine to do that now.

2. Q: How is a drum solo like a sneeze?

A: You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.

3. Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

A: "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs?

4. Q: What did the professional drummer say when he got to his job?

A: "Would you like fries with that?"

5. Q: How can you find a drummer in Nashville?

A: Ask for a refill.

6. Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?

A: One will mature and make money.

7. Q: How can you make a drummer's car more aerodynamic?

A: Take the Pizza sign off of it.

8. Q: How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

A: You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.

9. Q: What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.

My personal favorite:

Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four!

Just having some fun with my fellow drummers and friends. I have played the drums for over 25 years now and think I have earned the right to pick on my choice of instrument. Share these with a drummer that you know or someone that knows a drummer.

Jeff

How to "Make it" in the music business

It seems that everywhere I travel with the band I meet aspiring musicians that are longing to "make it" in the music business. I hear them tell me about their desire to play music for a living. We usually get a few cds a week from people that want our opinion of their music. Some of the music is good and some of it is not so good. Regardless of the music quality, the dreams are all the same. Passion is interesting to say the least. For me to write a detailed list of all of the things to do in order to “make it” in the music business would be pointless. There is no formula! I don’t believe in luck so we can throw that out, but I do believe in divine intervention. There is a problem that could be debated for years, but for now I will only touch on it. That problem is this: Why are there so many “bad” musicians that have made it and why are there so many “good” musicians that haven’t made it? If I knew the answer to that, all of the “bad” musicians would have a warrant out for my arrest. So for now I will tell you what you can do in the interim on your way to the top.

Ask yourself the following question: Am I waiting on something to happen or am I making something happen? I believe that God gives all of us gifts and talents. Jesus talks about what we are to do with what we have been given in the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. When I talk about how our band got our start I always talk about the fact that all five of us were active in our worship band at church. We were faithful in the “smaller” things. We weren’t doing it for fame or fortune but because we knew that God had called us to be a part of the local church body and use our gifts and talents in that way. While we were busy doing that the phone began to ring with other opportunities. The point that I want to make is that we were not sitting around waiting on things to happen; we were busy doing what we could to use the talents that had been given to us. It's ironic today that many of the conversations that I have with traveling musicians tell of how they long for the time when they were active on their worship teams at church. The "grass is greener" syndrome is alive and well in the music business.

Keep in mind that we all make up the body of Christ. If everyone is the same part of the body, then the body will be off balance. There is an appeal to being a "professional" musician that tours around the country and has music on the radio. Many people associate this as glamorous, or high profile in nature. There is some truth to that, but most people are not willing to make the sacrafices that it takes to live this type of life. Most people don't know what is involved in the daily life of a "professional" musician. Life on a bus can be interesting. Sometimes we are gone for exended periods of time from our families. Having small children and spending long periods of time on the road can be very difficult. You have to really count the cost that is involved in being a "professional" musician.

Does this fit into the life that you want? What about your spouse? Do they support you? Are your children going to remember you for the time that you were away and not the time that you were there? I have to be very careful with the time that I have at home. It has to count in every way. When you are on the road, there is a tendency to feel as though reality is on hold until you get back home. Your spouse and children are going to work, school, dance class, ball games, etc... while you are playing concerts all across the country. I might be gone for 10 days at a time. During that time I might travel through 12 states, sleeping through the night in my bunk on a 45 foot bus. We usually eat breakfast on the bus, lunch in the green room, a quick shower at the hotel, dinner in the green room, play the concert, and then back to the bus to go to the next location. Again, I ask the question, Is this the life that you want? If it is,then hold on. If it is not, then there are many other ways for you to fullfill the calling that you have on your life.

Jeff

Getting ready for the big KLOVE Radio cruise

Wow! It's that time again. We are getting ready to head out on the KLOVE radio friend and family cruise. FEB. 1st-5th. Every year or so we get invited as a band to play on a cruise ship. What a dream, right? Well, yes, it is fun but it certainly has been interesting over the years. This year, I am bring my brother. My wife couldn't get off of work for 5 days straight, so I am having to leave her with the kids back on dry land while I sail across the deep blue.

I am really looking forward to going on the ship this year because I get to experience getting to see my brother enjoy hanging with a lot of the Christian music artist that he really enjoys. I am also going to enjoy getting to go to the all night Pizza Buffet and Ice Cream parlor. Two of my favorite foods! Internet is always a challange on a ship. The price for connecting is highway robbery. This year, I think it is $100.00 for just a few hours. So I won't be surfing the web for "fun". Another challenge will be trying to communicate and run my site http://www.Customstix.com and handle all of the customer service phone calls that I have on a daily basis. However, I am up for the challenge. We will be in port for a few days and this will allow for some internet time.

Did I mention the Ice Cream? Anyway, I am looking forward to some serious down time and relaxation. If you haven't been to the new site, check it out when you can. I am really excited about the response and the excitement about custom drumsticks!

Jeff

New Years Eve in Myrtle Beach

(above)Getting ready for the show, approx. 11:15 pm. It's always strange playing that late. I usually end up going to bed on the bus around 2:30 am. However, for that night, that was a good thing. We had a 10 hour bus ride to Orlando for a show the next day. The show in Orlando was no ordinary show. We played for the Fellowship of Christian Cheerleaders. That is certainly not your average crowd. We have never heard a louder audience for sure. We had a great time with that group. Finished up around 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 1st, then hit the bus for another 10 hour ride home to Mobile, AL.



(Below) photo of the crowd in Myrtle Beach on New Years eve as the clock struck midnight! We always have fun at the Big God conference. -Jeff

Are you tired of the same plain drumsticks?

I am so excited about the launch of my new site http://www.customstix.com/. I have been counting down the days and the time is almost here. We should be set to launch the first week of December 2009. I am able to provide, for the first time in drumstick history, a full color graphic, personalized, custom printed drumstick with only a two pair minimum order at an amazing price!





Until this summer, I had an endorsement with one of the largest drumstick companies in the world. I now endorse Custom Stix! Have you ever wondered why more people don't play custom printed drumsticks? Well, I have and I found the answer. The sticks haven't been very good quality and they haven't been personalized. Well, now the excuses are gone. They not only look cool, but they are amazing drumsticks that take a beating! I could play any drumstick in the world and I choose Custom Stix!





Check out this picture of my samples. The graphics are amazing and the options are limitless!

Are you going around in circles?

Do you feel like you are merely going around and around and around? Do you feel like you are wasting your time at work? Do you refer to your job as the "Daily Grind?" Are you like the merry-go-round in this picture? Why do so many people feel like they are spending their days at work doing a job that has no REAL meaning? Well, I think that many people take jobs for reasons that have nothing to do with what they are passionate about. I know several people that have a BTN attitude about work. That is a "Better than nothing" attitude. So many people feel that their job is their lot in life and that the idea of enjoying their job is beyond comprehension. Society has gotten used to this attitude.

Many people are forced into this position due to choices that they have made that may have put them into a desperate situation. Some people are put into this position due to circumstances beyond their control; divorce, sudden death of a spouse, etc... But for those of us that don't have an excuse like that, what is your reason? Why are you going around and around? Take a moment and reflect on your passion. What would you like to fill your days doing? What type of impact do you want to have on those around you?

You are the only one that can make this choice and time is ticking away.

Jeff

What does your desk look like?

Is your office where you want it to be? Do you spend 40+ hours a week at a place where you want to be? This is a picture of my 2 desk today. We are in Kansas and I am set up in a lounge behind the sanctuary at a big church in the middle of nowhere. I am constantly talking with people who tell me that they hate their job. They feel trapped and they are stuck there without another choice. Do you feel trapped? What can you do about it? Well, there is good news. You are the only one that can change where your office is. Do you feel like you are doing what you were created to do? Are you merely giving the best hours of your day to someone that is getting rich off of your hard work? Even if you don't aspire to be wealthy, do you feel like your hard work is really only helping your boss get rich? Do you feel like your current job will allow you to make a difference? Are you merely punching a time clock until you can retire in a senior adult village one day? These are hard questions that we must answer if we are honest with ourselves. We aren't getting any younger and we don't get any do-overs. What is your choice? There is no time like the present to really start living.